Happy Mother’s Day to my friends! And for those who are yearning to be a Mom, I understand the pain of this day. For many many years I was one of the two or three women in the entire church who didn’t stand up for recognition on this day. It was embarrassing and painful.
In the Baptist church, where I used to attend, the children would pass out pin/flowers/trinkets to the Mommy’s who were standing. It never failed, they would look at me with a puzzled expression. I was in the choir and always felt like all eyes of pity were on me. I HATED MOTHER’S DAY! Some of the older children who knew my plight would give me one of the flowers to include me. That was sweet, but broke my heart too. Yikes, those were some HARD days!
It always made those who have lost their Mom’s cry. It made those who had lost a child cry. It also made those who didn’t have children cry. Sheesh … oh happy day. Ha.
To this day, I can’t enjoy standing for recognition because my heart goes out to the people I know around me who are wanting a child.
Ok, so I am probably the ONLY person with a negative Mother’s Day post. Forgive me. I’ve just been on the other side of this fence.
Have a blessed Sunday my friends. This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. And if you just happen to be a blessed Mommy — then rejoice even more.
What a thoughtful post, Beth. You are always an encouragement to others. God had His plans, and obviously has filled your heart with compassion. No need to apologize – mine’s not exactly June Cleaver today, either! Love you, Friend! Candy
You know, your not the only one. As I did my post, but my heart was thinking of those that are in the same place you were one time…my heart was heavy for them..
For me, mothers day last year was bittersweet as I would have been a mother but had lost my unborn child, but I was pregnant yet again. I think many times we forget.
Beth I am glad you are celebrating mom’s day…but I also know that it is never easy when you are still waiting on the desires of your heart.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I’ve been there too! so many struggle on this day and its sad! Thanks for remembering them 🙂
How very true. I remember those days well myself. I have learned that God plans things just right even though we don’t know the big picture at the time. I prayed and even begged God for babies not understanding why He didn’t grant that prayer but one day I will blog my story because in His infinite wisdom He honed me to be a mom of a different kind. Because of my love for children and the desires of my heart God has granted me children all my life to nurture and love. I have 6 wonderful kids now that I did not give birth to but they are mine just the same. I have raised and been allowed to nurture and love well over 50! (so I really have 56 and more grandchildren than I can count). I have 11 adorable grandchildren and all because our awesome God knew what He was doing. By doing things in His time He taught me what a mom is. You don’t have to give birth to be a mom and giving birth doesn’t automatically make you a mom. Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for sharing this. A loving word of advice for those who haven’t been blessed with children (yet): love the children God puts in your path, you are there and they are there right at that precise moment because you need each other and God knows that. Sometimes He makes us wait to teach us things like compassion (which you have abundantly), love, patience, wisdom and empathy. He will grant you the desires of your heart, it may not be how you pictured it so just be open to God and let Him work. God bless (sorry about the long comment lol)
Beth, that’s so true. I never even thought about that. I’m so glad you did because it also gives me another outlook on this day. I will embrace those who are hurting. I can imagine that Mother’s Day is difficult for many women.
Have a blessed Mother’s Day, my friend!
I did NOT find this negative but in fact it is sensitive and compassionate to all the women (and men) who are in the position you were once in. This I am convinced Beth is why we go through the things we do. It is not for our benefit alone but so that we can extend ourselves to others who are hurting and help them to see Christ in their crisis. This is what your message is doing today. Someone WILL visit you today and read this message and they would have come here feeling very down and hurt and they will read this and feel UPLIFTED in some way because someone else (YOU) put words to their pain and allowed them the exhale they needed today. Your words will give them comfort and may GOD’s arms embrace them and give them warmth this day.
I love your heart of care. I love you and Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you for your honest post! This is encouraging actually and how thoughtful of you to remember those who are hurting. God bless and Happy Mother’s Day! Love you in Christ!
Beth, you have such an understanding heart. As you know I am one of those women who would have loved to have a child. For years, I dreamed of holding my own baby in my arms but it never happened. Sometimes I feel so selfish for not particularly looking forward to Mother’s Day. I certainly am so grateful for my mom and also my mother-in-law. And I believe moms should be recognized. They go through so much and often get taken for granted. So, in my heart I do believe it’s good to recognize them.
But I didn’t go to church this morning. I have other issues going on right now and normally I’m well past this bothering me but with everything …I couldn’t deal with it. I worshipped by listening to Christian music, reading my bible, praying and listening to a bible teaching by Scott Samter, Jill’s hubby.
Thank you for your sensitivity to this issue for many women who would have loved to be moms or who may have lost a child or baby. I’m not surprised that you would be so kind; that’s just like my friend Beth. Love you.
Mothers & Fathers Day can be tough for many people. After my Dad died we didn't go to church on Fathers Day for 7 years. I just couldn't go. We just started going again on Fathers Day about 2 years ago.
Happy Mothers Day to you too!!!
I thank God for your honesty and your spirit of compassion!!! This is not a negative post…only a testament to your grace and your loving heart!!!
I am glad that I know you!!!
XOXO
Cathy
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Beth, you’re right on. My daughter, Amy, joined us in church this morning and I felt honored that she attended with us this day because she hasn’t conceived in 14 years of marriage. When moms stood up, she cried. It always happens. I love your heart and your honest ways.
No…Beth you’re dead on. My mom lost her mom when she hated Mother’s Day. I never understood until I lost my own mom. Those “white” flowers for one group and “red” flowers for another…well that’s just stinky and always gets me down. I complained about it at our church so that they don’t do that anymore. I have never known the pain of wanting a child and not being able to have one but I can just image how HARD it must be on Mother’s Day when the world is celebrating and you want to celebrate too. My heart goes out for all the women who want to be Mother’s and aren’t mom’s yet. My heart also goes out to mom’s who’s kids can’t say Happy Mother’s Day…the mom’s who BEGGED their kids to come to church and they didn’t show up. So I totally understand…thank you for giving us the B side of the syrupy song that the “world” plays on this day.
Oh also…for year’s after my mom passed…I always found something else to do on Mother’s Day…it was easy when the boys were smaller…l would volunteer for nursery or visit my aunt in Vegas (not for the gambling…for her spa like backyard) and (opps…didn’t make it back…all the traffic.). Now that I stay close to home on Mother’s Day…I’m bound to make it to church…I still try to volunteer for nursery…but poopy our church now have the men do it. So I sit in there…cutting up and I use to mess with my mother’s in law. Last year she went to be with Jesus because of cancer so this year I sat in the church…with my boys…alone. I have to say…I wish I wouldn’t have gone…I wasn’t the best example for my kids…but the youth sure had a great time with me cutting up in their pew area.
Nope. You’re not the only one with a negative Mother’s Day past. I rejoice in my children, but even now I think we could just as well do without Mother’s Day… Those of us who love and want to recognize our mothers don’t need a special day to do it. And it wouldn’t be so painful for so many that way. So I just shrug… I call my mother, I thank my children and my husband for their thoughtfulness… but beyond that, I don’t think about it a lot.
The ones that really get me are the moms who have all these expectations of what their families should do for them on Mother’s Day… and then they’re disappointed when their husband doesn’t come through! Hello! He’s your husband… not your child! Just be glad you get to be a mommy! That’s gift enough, IMHO!
Ok, rant over. Thank you for posting this! And hope you had a great weekend!
Thank you for the reminder. Pregnancy came so easy for me and it’s easy to not be sensitive to those that it didn’t. Like someone else said, Mother’s Day is really just another day to me but I did feel proud to be able to stand and be recognized.
Happy Mother’s Day, Beth.
Your story reminds me that in the Philippines, in the church that I used to attend, we gave out one stem of rose to our mothers. 🙂
Well, today, we didn’t not go to the church because my husband is not feeling good and I don’t drive yet.
Beth,
Happy Mothers Day!
Beth, you’re not the only one. I happen to agree with Karla. I struggled with my Mother’s Day post(s) because my mother is a non-presence in my life and my children’s life…she’s created dissent and drama in my life for more years than I should have allowed. Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day) are all “Hallmark” holidays and are designed to get people to have unmeetable (I made up that word!) expectations. If you love someone, anyone, you show them daily in all the ways you treat them. Grand gestures aren’t love…it is commitment through thick and thin that is love. Thanks for your post.
Bless you for having such a caring heart for others. I hope you enjoyed your Mothers Day. I love you.
Great post Beth. What a wonderful tribute to those whose pain I can only imagine.
Happy Mothers Day to a woman who shares her soft touches of grace with her family and those around her. Have a blessed week.
Oh Beth,
I don’t think it is negative at all. Just a reality for some of us. I, too, can totally relate to your pain. I wrote a similar post.
One thing that my Pastor husband does that I love…
He had all of the “daughters of the King” stand. He honored all women and mothers. All those years of total sorrow has given us the wisdom to know how to honor moms with out discouraging all the other ladies.
I’m so thankful for His grace!
I love you sweet friend!
Thanks for sharing!!!!
Julie
Beth you are such a compassionate lady and I feel the same way, when my tubes were cut out after I had Joel I wanted to give them to someone for a transplant….silly huh? you are so not alone and I have people on my prayer list who I am begging God to bless with a full house….why I got so lucky I don’t know. You are a beautiful mother and friend and I will join with you in praying for women all over this world whom I don’t even know to be blessed with a child. Your daughter was is lucky, chosen by God and then by you and you have done an awesome job with her….teaching her about the Lord.
You are an inspiration to me Beth, your love for the Lord shines through and I know we share the parent pain as well.
I love the mother’s day photo, priceless.
Not much a fan of holidays, so I’m with ya, So many holidays exclude people and make them feel left out.
I’m sure you are an amazing mom because of what you went through.
Mother’s Day 9 years ago was the worst ever. We’d buried Jordyn only 2 days before and she’d died 6 days before. It’s a bittersweet day, more sweet now though as I see that through the pain GOD has given me such joy.
Tara mentioned in a comment to me today that you had written this back on Mother's Day.
Good stuff. You know I can relate.