Amy at Dandelion Seeds is leading us in a 30 day “pray for our husbands” challenge (SHMILY = See How Much I Love You).
I already have a post scheduled for Thursday, but I must say something about Chapter 16 in Stormie Omartian’s book, “The Power of a Praying Wife.” This chapter really convicted me! The title of this chapter is HIS PRIORITIES (uh, should have been titled, “Wife, what is YOUR priority?” Yikes!
Stormie stated that “every wife feels she should be at the top of her husband’s list — right there under God.” I can shout an AMEN from the roof top after that statement. I can honestly say that for MOST of my marriage, I didn’t feel like I was a priority in my husband’s life. Now granted, that could have been a skewed perspective on my part, but that is how I felt. Guess what? Stormie shared the solution to correct this problem! Are you ready? She said that she has found that if a wife wants her husband’s priorities to be in that kind of order (mentioned above), she has to make sure HERS ARE IN THAT ORDER AS WELL.
OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I think my toes are bleeding after that sentence!
In other words, Stormie said if YOU (me) want your husband to place you as a priority over WORK (this was our issue), children, friends, and activities, you (ME) need to do the same for him. (Hiding face in shame.) Stormie made a great point when she said, “If God and spouse aren’t clearly top priorities in your life, your husband will have less incentive to make them so in his.” And to think, all of this time I thought it was just HIS issue.
Stormie suggested what we could do to help our husbands feel like they are a priority in our lives. Easy things like:
- Greet him first thing in the morning with a smile, hug, and ask if there is anything you could do for him that day.
- Let him know you are praying for him and ask what he would like for you to pray about.
- Check in with him periodically (even in the midst of your busy day) to assure him he’s still at the top of your list.
Yes, this convicts me greatly! Can I share my ugly selfish heart right here? Ok, here it is for the entire world to read. My sweet hubby has leaned more towards the “works” MARTHA, MARTHA, MARTHA mentality in the past and has been more than thrilled to give me a list of things to do. After so many years of this, I think subconsciously I feel relief when he leaves without mentioning a few assignments “I could do” each day. (Shhhhhh, don’t tell him.) Do I DARE ask him what I could do to help him each day? Dealing with a toddler and elderly parents — I never have real down time. Ok, there is my selfish heart — sad, but true.
Smart Stormie said that “priorities have to do with the position in the heart.” So true. It is important for ME to plan date nights, time alone to communicate to him that HE is a priority in my heart.
To hit the nail on the head: IF YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND TO LOVE YOU MORE, YOU NEED TO LOVE HIM MORE.
This chapter really made me stop and take notice of my own heart. I hope it gave you some fodder to chew on too.
All I can say is, AMEN.
♥Hope
Man, I need to read this book! I keep saying that but seriously your POST alone is convicting me…I need to be a better wife for REALZ!!!
Thanks for that. Maybe I will pick up this book and read it next week while my kids are away!
Sometimes I think that we might find ourselves so empty that we can't find the strength to love first. It is in those times that we go to our Father and fill ourselves up with His intense, sacrificial, perfect love. And when we are full, that love can overflow into others first without expecting anything in return. Because that is true love! We can not love without first being loved. I John tells us, "we love because He first loved us."
Oh I totally agree! We have to look at ourselves first. What are we doing to show love, to build up, to encourage?
We are so concerned about getting but are we giving?
Only the Lord can help us to be unselfish enough to place someone else's needs ahead of our own.
Well written and so true. Great pic too!
Amen sista~
That is so true and thanks for sharing it with us. It's so easy to see the "flaws" in others, without seeing our own.
I will but I honeslty don't know if I could love him more. And he makes me feel like the one true love of his life every day. And has for the last 23 years. 🙂
Hallie
Thank you for sharing this post…it is timely for me. My toes are a little sore right now too. I've read a couple of her books, but really need to get this one. You really hit the nail on the head…more than once. I'm very blessed and need to recognize that more often during the day.
Thank you so much for sharing this…I needed to hear this one for sure. Change needs to begin with me.
praying for my husband following the prayer points in stormie's the power of a praying wife, reminded me that God is able to change our circumstances. He can transform our husbands to be the man after His own heart and at the same time transform us too. what He did for others He can do to me too. i praise God for what He's going to do in my marriage. this SHIMLY has come in just about the right time when i needed it most. God is good!
Amen, so very true.
Sweet!
I've just started reading this book again and lovin it…What a difference my heart is from when I first read it to now…Totally God's doing. Isn't it awesome how our Father is leading us to be a Proverbs 31 Woman and 'doing good to him all the days of his life'..that is my prayer for my marriage, for Randy,,doing him good!!
Ouch is right! My toes hurt! Thank you for sharing, Beth. I needed to hear this today.