Well, here I am sitting with my thoughts. My sweet hubby and daughter have gone to bed and I’m here … with my thoughts and some sweet conviction from the Holy Spirit.
Sigh. Today I went to someone’s house. By the time I left, I felt like my life-juices had been sucked out of me. God bless this person. Seriously. She doesn’t see her wounds and bitterness. The negativity just oozes and when I leave I immediately begin to check my heart, “Am I like this Lord and I don’t see it?”
Isn’t it easy to see issues in others?
Matthew 7:3
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Trust me, I don’t trust my own heart. I am constantly seeing my own impure motives and selfish desires!
For instance, we had a kid (well, he is in his 20’s) in our area recently disrespect my husband. I have watched people mistreat my husband over the years and all he does is give and give some more. Seriously, I AM NOT as nice as him. He definitely turns the other cheek. It is just in his nature.
Anyway, this situation has definitely stirred up some thoughts that need to be captured. We have definitely had some laughs around here about it, but anger is also stirred.
Then I have a family member that constantly brings up a hurtful situation that happened a few years ago. Scream. She just can’t stop herself from tearing off the scab and pouring in a teaspoon of salt. After she tortures me and my husband, she will turn around and say what a great time she had with us. It is crazy! Were we at the same meal??? Sheesh.
Do you ever leave a person’s presence and feel like you need to take a shower? I feel defiled just by the conversations that always seem to arise around her. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
So, here I sit. I’m surrounded, a bit disgusted, and definitely praying for more self-control! If I could JUST KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. Oh Father, please help me.
James 3:6
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Yep, sitting here with my thoughts, looking back over the day and wishing I had kept my mouth shut when someone complained about my food I gave her; Wishing I had kept my mouth shut with our guest tonight who loves to wear a self-righteous crown; Regretting uncovering anyone. Have you ever been here? I’m sure you have.
The funny thing is, I really don’t offer information to people. Seriously. I love to write and share (and can be chatty), but when I’m with certain people, I am uncomfortably quiet sometimes. I’ll hold my tongue and then when I can’t take another thing I’ll slip and say something … totally erasing all of the time I kept my mouth shut. Ha. Can anyone relate?
Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.
I am grateful for God’s love and compassion! Father, please help me have an even greater measure of compassion for those who are bitter, negative, vindictive, …. hurting … lost.
Ok, I know this is a bit scattered. You can tell I’m pondering and chewing on things. Thanks for sticking with me.
Hi Beth, I think we can all relate. I find comfort in the fact that there is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. When I see these weaknesses in my life I turn to the Father and say "thank you that you see me as perfect in your sight. Help me to change in this area and glorify you! Then I trust that He is at work!
God is bringing you closer to the fullness of His glory!
I do think that sometimes when we have to limit the amount of time we spend with those that suck the life out of us, I have a friend like that as well. Love her, just don't like to be with her LOL.
God Bless, thanks for sharing!
Nice post Beth. This is so true. I have felt this way around others for around 12 years now. I remember to the day when it started and it only grows stronger by the day.
I always explain it to people by using a line from the movie The Green Mile which I think says it best. John Coffey has been asked by Tom Hanks what he should do… let him go, or what. John says that its time his reasoning is quoted below.
"All the hurt and pain in this world…… its like shards of glass in my brain boss"
This is how I often feel. VERY often. I so pray that people see how short life is and how important it is to live it to the fullest and enjoy the little things. I believe that once many find His will for their lives they no longer sweat the small stuff and get on to enjoying the life that they have been blessed with. It is only then and thru Him that they will start to sense the negativity in others the way we do.
Love and Prayers,
Tim
I can definitely relate to this post.
Especially holding the tongue, then wasting my efforts by spewing out what should not have come out!
Your transparency and introspection inspires.
~Julie
I think sometimes people just need to vent, and it comes out negatively. But, if they're like me, they feel better having gotten it off of their chest. Sometimes, I feel like I have one of those little metal chimneys at the top of my head, and I stay quiet for a long time, and then the chimney blows, and I errupt. I don't know which is worse – stewing over it or holding it in and having it blow.
Poor DH. My dad is natured like that. I was too for about my first 25-30 years, and now I stand up for myself. (get that from my mom :O) One day, it may happen one too many times. At least DH is good-hearted, a blessing! Good night!
Sweetie, I totally understand.
Great post. I wrote about the flip side of this… having to confront from a position of love…but BOY oh BOY…how many times have I've been in a person's presence and feel icky when I left. I think…boy…I'm gonna watch what I say…or I think.."Lord…please don't let me come across like that." I've learned I don't worry coming across like that when I stay close to Jesus. When we stay close to Him…our mouths stay in check. But I know the feeling…it's hard to be around folks that vent and feel it's ok to dump on you. We're suppose to cast our care upon Jesus…us humans don't do well dumping or being the one dumped on.
Really interesting post Beth! There are certain people who's company I find uncomfortable and grieving to the Holy Spirit. It's not a pleasant feeling at all but I am not very good at saying anything to them about it!
My mum and dad are not Christians so I find it hard with them sometimes. I love them dearly but sometimes I feel they don't respect my beliefs. I can't exactly avoid them though!
Love Collette xxx
Oh yes..I can totally relate! I'm so pooped out right now, so I'd type more. But, I wanted to let you know that I stopped by!!!
You're not alone, my friend!!
oh boy, I can sooo relate!
I like this post. I think we all can relate!
These are some great reflections.
Negativity will suck you in and carry you away. It's contagious. But so is a hope and love.
Oh, I can ever relate – and I love what jan Parrish said. SOOO true. Good stuff, hun. Praying.
As you know, I can relate all too well to this post, especially when it comes to my MIL. I am learning, little by little, to allow things to roll off my shoulders, rather than taking the offensive. Oh, how hard it is! God definitely isn't finished with me yet…thank goodness!
Yes, I can absolutely relate to this!
ohhhhhhh we are so in the same realm right now. I just spoke about gossip/negativity yesterday and also addressed how it is so difficult to be around toxic people (Call Poison Control from last month).
Thankfully we serve an amazing God who can guide us and give us strength and wisdom when being in these situations.
I love the way you write…..everytime I visit, I am blessed.
xox
*~Michelle~*
Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog today!
I always wish I had just kept my mouth shut as well… the talker in my always seems to win.
Blessings,
Sasha
Thanks for reminding me to be more patient with people, and to keep my mouth shut!! Stopping by from SITS
http://bentleyboutique.com/craftblog
This is an awesome and powerful post! So often I need to bite my tongue…so hard to do!
Yes,yes tongue biting is hard!!!!! I just went through a whole week where I felt like just slapping the fire out of this person's mouth!!!!! "Whew" it was bad but God kept my mouth shut and yet I am totally drained from it all.But God!!!!!!!! I so enjoy quiet times like you had last night! Have a real good day Beth.
I can relate. Tom always laughs and says you prayed for friends you got friends. I'm an introvert and so by the time I'm done with this person I'm spent. I pray you get a good night of sleep and things look better in the morning.
I have the same issues… I'm also chatty, but when situations arise that are uncomfortable, I either work to change the subject or stay silent… until I can't take anymore. Than, depending if it's a certain person, I quite often say something hurtful. I wish I could change… but sometimes it feels good to get it off the chest… especially when that person has been spewing hurtful things at you. Doesn't make it right, but it's so hard sometimes. Man… God doesn't make this easy, does He?
I can so relate! I try really hard to stay away from negativity because it breeds. My husband sounds like yours- a sweet gentle soul. He can get mad if you push him but usually it's me letting people know you will not walk all over him. It is so hard to control that tongue sometimes…LOL!
As others have already said, I can definitely relate! We all have dealt with difficult people at one time or another. Sometimes I've managed to keep my mouth shut. The times I haven't have always made me feel even worse!
It's tough when we have to listen to someone criticize a loved one, though. Shew….that riles me up quicker than anything!
Praying for you, sweet Beth! This is a great post, and you've definitely got the right attitude. Thanks for sharing with us.
Love,
Beth E.
I need to try and keep it shut a bit more. I just love to talk. Lord help me with brideling my tongue. Great post Beth. I am so glad for His forgiveness, when I mess up!
I am always begging the Lord to shut my mouth. It is so easy for me to open it, unfortunately.
We all have our moments. But there's also the verse that talks about "speaking the truth in love" and sometimes they need to hear it.
I think the Lord lets us know when we should talk and speak the truth when it's needed.
The hard part is to keep quiet when you're treated unfairly. That's when I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.
I think we can all relate to this at one point or another. Definitely!
Preach it Sista!!! Amen. Oh, and Amen again! I need to learn to keep my mouth closed a lot more. I also need to check myself to make sure that I am not a negative nelly. Somedays, although I mask that pain with humor, I still feel like I am more negative than positive. Thank you for prompting me to pray about that!
Bless you today! Tarah
Hi Beth,
Every encounter we meet is never by accident and is always somehow strategically used and orchestrated by God to take us to the next level.
No one is ever polished unless they're rubbed. And yes you may have felt rubbed the wrong way.
Ask the Holy Spirit what it is He's trying to accomplish here in your life by using this person with all their flaws and irritations to bring you to your perfection.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see her through God's eyes and perhaps your perspective of the whole event may change.
God is always working to bring us more and more into His light and perfection. It does not always come in the way we would like Him to work and it may not be all in a pretty package. But when His work is complete we become more tolerant of others and love them not because of but in spite of themselves through God's unconditional love.
Bless you as God works His perfection in you.
Love Alicia
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I think it's easier to be negative for some people than to look at the good that is all around us. Keep your chin up!
If we're alive and over 40 we can relate dear sister!!! 🙂
Praying for you. Love ya.