The past two weekends I have attended a place that isn’t a church, though the Church meets there.  It is a place where Christians can come to a free environment and worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.   I would give the name of this place, but since I don’t disclose my location on my blog, I can’t (boooo).

This ministry provides anointed speakers and musicians for everyone to enjoy.  It is a WELL where people can stop and drink.

I have to admit that I am a junkie for God’s presence.  I love Him and I am always wanting MORE of Him (which means less of me).   There is only one little bump in the road:  my family.

Since my husband isn’t quite “into” the level of freedom allowed in this place (YET), I often go with my friends — which means I have to leave my husband and daughter at home.   My “Boaz” has been gracious to watch the little one so I could attend these meetings.  Last weekend I went Friday and Saturday night.   This past weekend, I went Friday night and hungered to go Saturday night … but didn’t feel he would be willing to babysit two nights again.

Saturday evening was rainy and cold, so we stayed home as a family.  That was fine with me because I could at least watch the service online!

Here is a pic of me (looking rather ROUGH I must admit) watching my peeps worship.  Sigh.  I wanted to be there!!!

I was torn!  I kept feeling the pull to be there, yet I had a 6 year old sitting in my lap — thrilled that Mommy was home.

What was I to do?

My friend Katherine (who has also been attending the meetings with me) called and I told her I was watching it live and really wanted to be there.  My husband heard me and said, “Well GO.”   WHAT?!?!?  WAS I HEARING CORRECTLY?  That was all I needed — PERMISSION!  It was 9pm, raining, cold, but I immediately hopped on his blessing to go and started changing clothes.

Everything was going great!  My friend was coming to join me … I had my husband’s blessing … I was about to leave when BOOM.  My husband asked our daughter to clean up her room (at 9pm) and she began to cry.  Oh man, I was SO close to escaping with no tears.  Then it started … “Mommy, don’t leave.  I don’t want you to leave.  Daddy won’t play with me. There will be nothing to do.”

This is where I had to really hear from God.

GUILT tried to set in and then I heard,  “You prayed for YEARS to have a child and now you’re being selfish!  You should stay here with your family!  What if she is sensing something and she knows you will be in a wreck.”  CRAZY thoughts of accusation began to whisper in my ear.  Devil!  He is such a LIAR!   I knew for all of that to hit like a ton of bricks, it was MEANT for me to go!

I comforted and loved on my child to ease her mind and left.

All of the Mommy-heartstrings were tugged on, but the wooing of the Holy Spirit was stronger!  I surrendered and arrived to my destination a little after 9pm.

This is where my post ties into me blessing my family.  As parents, we must follow the leading of the Lord.  I’m not saying that I had to leave my home to fellowship with Him, but in this case — I NEEDED to be at that meeting.  I received many things that I needed to hear!

When Mommy is spiritually healthy — full of direction and clarity, I become a much healthier example!

My family is also changed by the changes in me.

I challenge you to seek God, read His Word, and spend time in prayer.  I promise that IF you seek Him with your whole heart — you WILL find Him.

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

I pressed in and I found some answers I needed.  God had them waiting for me and He honored my decision to press through the guilt.

Is there something blocking you from going deeper?  Are you afraid to get out of your comfy boat and test the deeper waters?  I am telling you that this is going to be a year of diving deeper!  Many will stretch beyond their comfort zones and jump into the unknown with the Lord.

He has some AWESOME plans for His Church.  Get ready people.  Get ready.

Today I am linking with some great people below.  Click on the buttons below to visit their blogs (look beneath the buttons for more):

Wait, don’t leave yet.   I’m not finished …

I want to share one of the songs we have been singing at this place of worship.

Enjoy and dance along with me~ I love the bridge: WITH A CROWN OF THORNS, YOU BECAME A KING FOREVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO_0VLEDcOg&feature=related

 God bless you as you abide in Him.

(2nd photo is of my daughter listening to the worship music BEFORE I decided to leave.  Full of smiles.  ha.)