Happy Monday everyone!Have you ever been overlooked?How did it make you feel? How did you react?What can you do as a Titus 2 woman, to be sure you don’t overlook the important things (or people) in your life?
The first question concerning a time I was overlooked immediately took me back to a very hard season of leadership. Looking back, I know God was allowing me to see some areas of immaturity, but it was a painful time.
I was in a servant role to my pastor. I interceded for him and his family day and night for almost 7 years. While in this role, I never received any public recognition. I wasn’t serving FOR recognition, but I was so hungry for a crumb (like a dog under the master’s table), a pat on the back, something to feel appreciated. Years had passed and a lot of warfare had gone under the bridge when this particular day arrived. It was PRAYER SUNDAY. Ok, surely on PRAYER SUNDAY the Prayer Coordinator and the prayer team would have some part in the service, right? The music was all about praying someone through … prayer, prayer, prayer. I walked into the service and heard my pastor, the one I met with hours a week, encouraged, cried with … I heard him call up the leader of missions to speak about prayer. I was crushed. I felt totally rejected and then all of the lies of the enemy poured into my ears, “He was ashamed of you, that is why he didn’t want you representing prayer from the platform,” “He wanted someone smarter to talk from the platform” …. blah blah blah. You get it.
At the end of the service, I did have my head on my husband’s shoulder, sobbing. Not only was I sad for myself, but for all of the prayer team members who took a lot of “mess” and were faithful and true. None of them received a “thank you” …
I never mentioned this to my pastor — even though he and I are friends and I could have shared my hurt. What good would it have done? None of us served to receive recognition, but that one need of a “pat on the back” allowed those feelings to come flooding into my heart.
I didn’t allow offense to take root and I didn’t share my hurt with the church body. I even got accused by someone in the choir for crying over something totally different and she even told others a horrible lie about why I was crying. Of course, I couldn’t share the truth because I didn’t want to stir up anything against our pastor. Sigh … me and my emotions. Scream. Anyway … that is the time I remember feeling overlooked.
As a Titus 2 woman, I know that I am to serve wholeheartedly, as if I am serving the Lord and not men (Ephesians 6:7). I’m ashamed to even share how easily the enemy was able to get to me that day … sigh.
I pray I would be more sensitive to appreciate everyone in my life. This is a great reminder to be aware of the needs of those around us.
Just in case you are concerned about my feelings over what happened. That was a season of great lessons back then. I was being purged, pruned, and prepared. Last year, after being away from that church for a couple of years (and since the pastor has moved on to another church) I finally told the lady in choir why I was actually crying that day. I hope that taught her a lesson too.
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Last week’s verse:
John 13:35
By this all men will know you are My disciples, if you love one another. (NIV)
This scripture reminds me of some song lyrics “… and they’ll know that we are Christians by our love, by our love, and they’ll know that we are Christians by our love ….” Is that true in your life? Would someone know by your love? That is convicting to me.
Our new memory verse is:
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
To join us in memorizing God’s Word, visit Beth HERE.
Awesome post.
That must be a tough moment for you to feel that way then. But we know that when the Lord prunes us, it hurts but that means He truly loves us and He sees what we don't. I feel that through that painful moment, you had emerged to become a more powerful prayer intercessor, because that helped you focus more in bringing the needs of others or your own to the Lord, without seeking recognition.
It's so easy for us to fall into old habits because our enemy is so active in throwing lies to us. But we must remember to please God and not men. So this post is a great reminder for that.
Lord, help us remove what gets in the way with our walk with You. Only then that our prayers can flow more effectively.
Thank you for sharing the verse sister Beth. God bless you and your family. Love to you.
I think we've all felt overlooked at some point in our lives. For me, it was when I'd been the driver coordinator for Brittany's cross country team for 3 years in a row. Her coach never thanked me for what I'd done UNTIL I threw in the towel and told him I wouldn't be doing it, anymore. Of course, I always felt all the girls and parents appreciated me, so that's what mattered the most. Great verses you've shared today! Be blessed on this summery Monday!
I have to say… my pastor is soooo good about saying "Thank you" and making people feel appreciated. And I know it does WONDERS! When he acknowledges me, it makes it feel like it was worth it! And I don't mean publicly, I mean just looking me in the eyes and sincerely saying "Thank you" or "Good job!"
It does do wonders!
I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this topic and love these discussions over at At the Well, I have just discovered it and your blog and am enjoying where the Lord is leading me.
Love Collette x
Beth,
This was just awesome! I am sure you have and will minister to so many people concerning how they have felt overlooked and to not overlook others either. God is good and He brings healing when we look to Him.
Christy
Aw, what a sweet story. It does happen to every single one of us. I've struggled with being overlooked so many times growing up especially because of my deafness. God never overlooks us. His thoughts of us outnumber the sand in the sea, and our name is tattooed in the palm of his hand. Every single thing you do without any recognition will have such an AMAZING reward when he comes. If we receive our reward from men, then we already have our reward. I'd so much rather receive it from our King!! It'll all be worth it at that day 😀
Beth, I think the continuation of the post meshed well with the first one. I believe that when we excercise true love, we won't overlook anyone. We have to remain on guard, don't we?
What a precious post. I loved it, my friend.
That is tough. I also feel a longing for some recognition, not even much, just a thank you. That is why some jobs are 'great' and some are 'poor' for me, mainly because of any thank you's I may receive. Doesn't even matter if the one that is "great" is digging ditches or something seen as menial, and the other job is something seen as successfull or magnificent. For me, it's all about the people and how they treat me (and each other)
Thank you for sharing so openly, what a precious and beautiful post. What a blessed lesson this was to us all to be aware of the needs of those around us. Be blessed!
Beth, Thanks so much for sharing this post. I am going to have to join in on this. I don't know if I will be able to day, but I do like this meme.
I hope you have a great week.
It is nice to be recognized, but when I feel as though I am being overlooked…like you were. I too remember who I am actually doing the things for & then I am ok with not getting Earthly recongintion. still hurts the heart to feel unappreciated.
Love the verses.
hugs,
mimi
This is a great story and so raw and honest. I too have done the same thing…just different circumstances, different people. I think it's God's way of testing us sometimes. And as for the woman in the choir…I'm a little bitter (did I say that) about choir folks. Problems in heaven came from the choir and I think most church problems come from the same group…(o.k. I said it…sorry all you choir lovers.) It's a wonderful ministry that greatly serves the church…but singing…week after week can also create self seeking purposes if you're not careful. (Boy I'm stirring a pot now…) Let me stop…
anyhoo..I really appreciate your post and I'm learning as well that it's o.k not to get earthly recognition.
Blessings.
Beth, we must be twins seperated at birth … why?! Your 7 years pruning was almost identical to my serving as an amourbearer to the senior pastor….. it was like I was reading part of my very own life story ….
Isn't it good to learn to heavily lean on His grace? It's sufficient every time!
Bless you, my friend :-))
What an awesome post thanks for sharing your heart. I am sure your experience spoke to a lot of women. I know what you mean when you feel like you are working so hard and maybe your not expecting recognition but your wanting needing to give more and your hope is you'll be asked kind of promoted type of thing. It is difficult but like you said that is where the pruning comes in. We just have to remember that Gods timing isn't ours. That is so hard. I struggle with that everyday. So my sister lets lift each other up and remind each other to trust and obey and wait patiently. Thanks again for sharing. Have a wonderfully blessed week.
Hugs,
Sherry
You not only got the victory but the blessing in that overlooked situation. Your not taking offense springboarded you to a place of blessing and that means generations to come will reap the reward.
No wonder I feel such a mighty anointing of God when I'm with you. His pruning looks good on you, Beth. You're a mighty warrior for Him and a powerful intercessor.
Hugs,
Mary
thank you for speaking the truth and your transparency. It is difficult to feel unappreciated/unaccepted by others, even within the church.
I remember a pastor visited our church and he was talking about how a woman "called him out" during a ministry meeting. Basically trying to bring down his character for something. (details not relevant)….anyway, he went home hurt, embarrassed and frustrated. He called out to God asking Him why He would allow such shame and embarrassment in his life knowing how his life was completely dedicated to serving.
He said he felt the Lord speak to him in a firm, but gentle voice. Asking him, "Son, are you doing this for them, or for Me?"
Pretty sure that if God was choosing who He wanted to represent prayer from the platform, He be choosing YOU!
xox
I admire your patience for waiting so long to tell that woman in the choir the real reason. Almost as bad a being overlooked is someone assuming… I think most of the time it is a trick of the enemy. I have felt rejected because I feel sometimes I am not good enough and I know that is satan trying to rob me of my joy and when I actually take a rational look at the situation I see how silly my feelings were. I have got to learn to not live by my feelings….Joyce Myer has an excellent teaching on that and every time I hear it I end of laughing at myself.
You brought out some great points in this post, thank you for sharing your experience.
Nice Blog. Congrats.
-Zakir Ali ‘Rajnish’
{ Secretary-TSALIIM & SBAI }
[Editor- Children’s Poem & Adult’s Poem]
Hello Beth,
Good Post…I am hearing you!
Many of the difficult things we go through make us more appreciative and compassionate towards others…so we can count all these trial of our faith with joy.
♥ Hope
James 1:2-3
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
Luke 21:19
In your patience possess ye your souls.
A message many understand…
Thanks for sharing precious.
Beth..what a wonderful post! I think being involved in ministry just puts a bigger target on your back for the enemy.
I'm so glad you were able to move on from this and also to inform the choir lady of the truth. I'm sure she was very convicted after that.
Hey Beth, Hope your having a great week!! What an Awesome post… My computer crashed but Thank the good Lord it is back working.
What a wonderful post. Thanks for being so transparent! I stuggled with wanting a "pat" as welll when I helped coordinate our women's retreat. I had to be acutely aware ofthe temptation to make the retreat about me and wanting recognition.
I think the hardest overlooking for me was when I went through my divorce. All of our closest friends assumed since I was such a strong person I would be fine and went to the aide of my ex. For months I felt dejected, but then God just swoops in and gives me peace, understanding and wisdom for future events in my life when I have been overlooked. Who's really watching and caring. Looking up to the heavens I can smile. Thanks for sharing some of the intamacies of your heart.
Of course, I have my share of this, too. I have been overlooked a lot of times… but I can't recall what were they. 🙂 I didn't take it seriously though.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Beth! I can imagine how hurt you felt as I've felt that way before. I try to focus on who I really should be doing it for – God. Hugs my friend!
Such a thought provoking post! Thank you for sharing openly!