Today I am joining the discussion At the Well (in pursuit of Titus 2). Sarah Mae at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee is leading the discussion about our husbands.

Sarah Mae shared Matthew 19:3-9

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,’ and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

She brought up the point that though we may think we would never divorce our spouse (and I’m so sorry to so many of my friends who have had to experience divorce), we can sometimes “divorce them in our hearts” … in our thoughts.

Sarah Mae shared: A hard heart will destroy a marriage from the inside out – whether you physically divorce or not. God wants us to have soft hearts ready for molding. You and your spouse are one – God declared it so, and “what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

The following questions were asked:

• Do I roll my eyes at my husband when we disagree?
• Do I allow myself to have lingering thoughts about a past love?
• Do I find myself gravitating toward the attention of other men?
• Do I think negative thoughts about my husband and/or our marriage?
• Do I respect my husband?
• Do I trust that God knows what He’s doing with my marriage, no matter how difficult it is
• Is divorce an option?

In all honesty, I say that by THE GRACE OF GOD ALONE I am in a safe good place in my marriage. However, there were times years ago when I was so hungry for the affection I wanted from my husband that I was in a dangerous place emotionally. Satan has a way of setting us up.

My “Boaz” and I married at 22 (I just turned 42) back in 1989. I was 22, he was 23 … just babies as I look back. Neither of us had lived away from home and now suddenly we were “one” … well, we were supposed to be ONE. The first seven years of our marriage were hard for me. This is no secret, my husband agrees. His father was living during that season and my Boaz never left him … didn’t cleave to ME. After his father died, Boaz turned more towards his wife, though job, community, others always seemed (in my mind) to come before me. After my father-in-law died, I had seven years of resentment to work through. Does anyone understand what I’m saying here? I was rejected, bitter, a bit hardened. I had turned to food as my husband, though my heart yearned for the man I had dated. Actually, it was more than seven years of stuff to work through, but the first seven laid the foundation.

Well, now I have that sweet man again. It took years and a lot of maturing on MY end! But God in His amazing miracle-working power, has delivered us from almost every “connection” to our old lives and has us in a new place. A strong foundation has been built under us. We are ONE now.

I do respect, honor, and love my husband. It sure has taken a LOT — even in the circumstances around us for TWO TO BECOME ONE, but God has done it. Trust me, it doesn’t just happen over night.

If you have answered “yes” to any of the questions above (except for #6), then please take my advice and RUN TO GOD AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Let Him deal with your own heart. He is more than able to deal with your husband.

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