What a strange season! There is a stirring in the air. I am picking up on a lot of ick … I don’t know any other way to say it.
Friday something was said that REALLY exposed some pain deep inside of me. It awakened some feelings that tormented me for years. I really thought this was an area that had been dealt with and healed. SURPRISE! Argh. Do you know what I immediately did when I was alone?
I went straight to the pantry and began to hunt for anything sweet. I IMMEDIATELY recognized that I was trying to push down the pain — comfort myself with food. I was so hurt, so ANGRY! Did I run to the cross? Did I pray in the Spirit? NO. I recognized what was happening and I went with it. Why didn’t I deal with it spiritually? It was so much easier to cram down the pain with food.
It felt so powerful, though logically I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS AS BIG AS MY GOD.
This was different though. Maybe because God has opened my eyes somehow in a different level, but I RECOGNIZED what was happening. It was so real I could FEEL it — tangibly!
So now I have two issues to handle. One, the issue that caused me such deep pain. Why couldn’t I just deal with the pain versus burying it again? It must be a ROOT.
Then there is the food issue. I must get the sweets out of my life again. Honestly, I was thinking last night that this must be close to how an alcoholic feels. It is as if something supernatural is pushing the desire.
So there you go.
This morning the Lord told me to battle these issues with faith. I need to WAR.
Today’s word is timely for me ( http://ft111.com ):
THE TRUMPET by Bill Burns — May 17, 2010:
This is true — I am indeed bringing you higher. I’m lifting you up to places where you have never been before. I am bringing you forth in the new season that I Myself have assigned. For I am the Lord that brings the revelation of that which I am doing. I bring this understanding to you so that you may ready yourselves and be a part of this activity, which will give glory to the Father and will greatly increase your knowledge of the working and the function of the kingdom of God. So get ready to learn and make the Holy Spirit your Teacher and align your spirit with Him so that He may teach you. For you have an unction from the Spirit to be led and guided and taught by that most Holy One. Embrace this work and be renewed in Spirit. Embrace this work that I am doing right now for I am preparing you to walk in the glory, which I am releasing at this time. Walk with Me; talk with Me and be one with Me, says the Lord Jesus Christ.SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns — May 17, 2010:
I am calling My warriors forth to be strong and to rise up and do battle. Many of you, My people, were once valiant and brave, but you have not engaged in war for a long time. This is because you didn’t understand that you cannot fight without your full armor, and the enemy retaliated. I am rallying My troops, don your armor, and I will send you forth in righteousness, says the Lord.
Ephesians 6:12-17 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Always remember, Beth…with Christ on your side…the battle WILL BE WON! Keep the faith, my friend!
Oh how I can relate. I think it's amazing that God is revealing this to you in the middle of the temptation. Recognizing what's going on is half the battle. (((hugs)))
I hope you are able to put on the full armor, fight the war and overcome the pain and temptation of food.
Beth…I sooooo understand. We both must continue to surrender these issues to HIM who loves us most and not allow satan to steal our joy.
Hugs, love, and prayers,
andrea
Battling issues with faith right along with you Beth!!!! 🙂
There's a lot to chew here sister Beth. But what a great reminder that we cannot battle without His Armor. It is not our fight but His.
This is what I'm meditating on today:
Romans 11:33 -"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments,and his paths beyond tracing out!"
God bless you and may His power and might be yours!
I'm glad I read this, because just last night I was praying and asking God to help me eat ONLY when I am truly hungry. I do not wish to be an emotional eater anymore.
I know you'll conquer this Beth!
War with God on your side will always get you the victory! Ooo Rah! :o)
"This was different though. Maybe because God has opened my eyes …
I RECOGNIZED what was happening."
And the truth will set you free. All I thought about as I read this was…you could have kept doing what you were doing and NOT realizing the issue here. God DID open your eyes.
As for the alcohol part. oh girl, I've said it before I will say it again, it is TOTALLY like alcoholism, the only thing is for us who are in bondage to this, we NEED food, we don't need booze.
You experienced on Friday, mine was Saturday..oh girl, it was HUGE issues that I dealt with, that I realized I have dealt with my entire life.
God revealed to me though that it was being broken off of me and my family and I(my family in my home) would be transformed and restored. I need to let go of MUCH pain that I carried around my entire life that HAS effected the woman I am in my own home. The terrible stuff I dealt with on Saturday was also an eye opener, like the food thing, and so right now, like you, I'm dealing with (well more than two issues in this house,lol) this 'new' issue and how to handle it. Right now, God is calling me to rest in Him and wait patiently. So that is what I'm doing and not getting on the phone to deal with it in my flesh.
((hugs))
I am here lifting your arms up sis, you will be victorious. I love you.
Beth….don't you just love it when God reveals himself to us! I too struggle with emotional eating. Thank God I don't have a lot of drama to deal with. But I do have triggers…so I can empathize with you. you're not alone in fighting this battle. You inspired me with you story and post over the weekend and today I pulled out my WW literature to become reacquainted with. Thanks for the encouragement! Praying & Luvs~~~Sue
I hope you can find peace surround this source of pain.
xoxo