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Psalm 31:14
But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”

I have been going through another level of healing.  It never FEELS good to have icky stuff float up to the surface, but it is exciting!


Yes, I said the pain is exciting because it means all of that pain that I have had buried deep within the crevices of my heart is coming UP and OUT.   It can’t come out if I don’t even know it is there, right?

I have felt like I have had my feet in concrete for some time now.  I haven’t been able to move forward for some reason.

S T U C K!

I wimpered and whined to the Lord about it, but I honestly didn’t cry out and fight for freedom.  I tried to press through a little, but it took too much effort to lift the concrete shoes I was wearing!  It was much easier to just move forward with the busyness of everyday life.

I think it was last week that God started showing me that I had some “what-if” issues in my life:   What-if ______ happened?  What would I do if ________ were to happen?   I was so busy thinking about what would happen the next second that I couldn’t enjoy the here and now.   That was a revelation to me because it had become such a “part” of my thought processes that I didn’t realize I was doing it.

After that revelation, I began to notice something else rising up within me.   I knew I had an issue in that area because I could be a bit sarcastic sometimes (even if I didn’t speak the words out loud), but I had no idea how deep it was.   God is faithful to always show me and I am thankful!

He began to tell me some things about myself and my friend confirmed that there were some roots that needed to be pulled out of my heart.


Psalm 34:8
Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!

This was a great lesson of trust for my friend because when God told her the 3 areas I needed healing — she doubted.   She didn’t trust what she was hearing.  She told the Lord, “But God, I KNOW this woman.  She doesn’t have those issues.”  But she chose to TRUST  that she was hearing correctly.     When she and I started talking, I began to share what God was showing me.  She said those were the things God told her.   She explained how she never knew.  Well yeah, that is because I keep stuff to myself.   (And God had told her that too.)

As you know, I share my life like an open book on this blog.  If it can help others — I share it, but when I am in the midst of dealing with a spiritual issue, I don’t share with others as a whole.  One or two friends might know, but most of my friends probably won’t.   I work through it with the Lord unless God brings someone else into my path to intervene.  He knows what I need (and He knows what YOU need).

John 14:26
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

The wonderful Holy Spirit is our Teacher and Comforter!

While I was working through all of this stuff, I saw Sid Roth’s show It’s Supernatural.  He was encouraging his guests to use their gift of praying in the Spirit.   I recorded this report that he shared:

Brain Specialist Carl R. Peterson found through research and testing: When we pray in the Spirit, there is activity that begins to take place in our brain. As we engage in our heavenly language, the brain releases chemical secretions that are directed into our immune system — giving it a boost. This promotes healing within our bodies. Amazingly, this secretion is triggered from a part of the brain that has no other apparent activity in humans and is only activated by praying in tongues. 

(You can watch that episode by clicking HERE.)

That show encouraged me to pray in tongues more.   I’m sure I pray in the Spirit every day, but I don’t pray for long amounts of time.  Since that show, I have prayed more and I think that was also key to this new level of healing.

God lines everything up doesn’t He?

A couple of weeks ago this same friend (I mentioned above) told me about some prophetic teaching videos that were free online.   This guy also offers live webinars on Tuesday nights.   I signed up and joined this past Tuesday.   At the end of the meeting, the host ministered healing to me.  God knew exactly where I needed to be and He exposed something.   (Let me tell you — the enemy DID NOT want me on that webinar.  I felt so nauseous about 15 minutes before the webinar started that I thought I’d be sick.  I pressed through and when the meeting started, the feelings of nausea left!)  How many times do we give up and not press through for our breakthrough?


The host, Brent, said God wanted to heal me that night, but he had to ask me a question:  Are you willing to give up your right to be angry?  This was asked to someone who has taught about forgiveness and releasing others.  Truly, I DON’T want to hold ANYONE in unforgiveness — but because of one issue that I knew was rising up in my heart — something still needed to go.   THIS WAS THE KEY!

These perfect strangers, though family in Christ, were given this key.  They knew I had been abused, wronged, and I had the right to be angry — but I had a choice.   Was I willing to give up the right?   (Thank You Lord for the gift of prophecy and words of knowledge!)

YES!  Of course I was willing! 

I TRUST God sees my heart and knows what is best for me.

When Jesus — who had no sin — was able to lay down all anger and hurt after what people did to Him, I have absolutely NO PLATFORM to stand on.  Right?   I already knew this in my heart and when I felt these emotions rising up within me — I knew I didn’t want them.  But there was something about the way that question was posed that released me somehow.  I knew that God saw how I was treated in whatever situation it was.  I don’t even know if it was one situation or many — but I had to lay down my rights and I willingly and gladly did.

I am grateful! 

I am still going to continue walking through the healing process.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want ANYTHING in my heart that isn’t pleasing to the Lord.

I will trust Him in this process.

Psalm 34:22
The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

I am linking with the Faith Barista for her Faith Jam.  Today’s prompt is:  TRUST.  Would you like to join the conversation?   Just click on her button below:


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