Ok, so “fat” isn’t the politically correct term, but I’ve been there so I can use it.

Something happened this past week and it made me step back and think. My poor husband was the one who put it “out” there, but don’t think I’m blaming him.

What will it take or what size will I need to be for people to stop treating me like a fat person? Or maybe it is my perception.

For example, when I go to friend’s homes for a meal I usually hear, “I was wondering if you could eat this food.” I know they are being considerate of my efforts to change my lifestyle, but it still stings. Does that make sense?

My little family was headed to the stockyards to sell some cows and I picked up a candy bar for me and my Princess to split. My husband said, “When did you start eating that?” I immediately felt judged (though I’m sure that was the furthest thing from his mind) and I felt the need to defend my choice of eating half of a candy bar. I have told him from the beginning that I have eaten chocolate. It just felt like a stab. I immediately envisioned the lady in this picture.

Today in church he asked me if I was still losing weight or maintaining. What is wrong with me? Why does that make me feel so fat? Isn’t it crazy? I’m sure satan is just doing a number on me today, but what does it take for someone to be considered a person set free from food bondage?

Some of you know that I’ve been reading a book entitled the Diet Alternative by Diane Hampton. If you missed the post about this awesome book, just click HERE. I haven’t finished this book yet, but today I picked it up and began to read Chapter 6 TRANSFORMED BY NEW THOUGHTS. Diane pointed out the power of our words and our confession over ourselves. She gave the example of Jesus cursing the fig tree and said, “Some people have been cursing their fig trees with regard to their weight for many years” (page 113). How many of us have said, “I can’t lose weight. I came from an overweight family. I guess I will always be fat. I can look at food and gain weight.” She reminded me that Proverbs 13:2 declares, “A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth.” Proverbs 18:20 states, “A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth.” Ouch. Don’t I know it! I have spoken more negative things over my weight than positive — that is for sure. THIS WILL CHANGE IN JESUS’ NAME.

Proverbs 27:7

A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb.

Diane pointed out that IF our soul was full and satisfied, even a honeycomb (or chocolate bar, etc …) wouldn’t be tempting. Thought provoking isn’t it? She said this proverb also warns, “To a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.” (In my language, it means I would even eat dark chocolate — though I don’t like it.)

So, this has me pondering about the hunger in my own soul.

Here are some examples Diane gave to FILL our souls:

Instead of saying, “I can’t seem to lose weight” say “I lose weight easily.” Instead of saying, “I have been overweight all my life,” say, “I am being changed by the power of God.”

More examples to confess:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). I can lose weight and control my eating for the rest of my life through Christ.

My appetite is being totally changed through Jesus my Lord. Jesus “Himself bore [my] sins in His own body … that [I] … might live for righteousness” (1 Peter 2:24) and be dead to every form of bondage.

I receive Jesus in my eating, so I receive “power to [fill in the blank] of God” (John 1:12).

I will soon wear a size ___ dress or suit.

I will weigh ___ pounds because I can lose weight easily now.

Diane suggested that we apply scriptures to our area of bondage — in this case, weight.

Chapter 7 EAT WHATEVER IS SET BEFORE YOU

This chapter really has me checking my heart. To someone in bondage, a candy bar brings condemnation, guilt, judgment … Diane stated that when people have been on many diets, they are likely to make food choices that are influenced by a long list of “rights” and “wrongs.”

Didn’t Jesus say that all food was good and that we should not worry about our life, what we will eat or what we will drink? (Matt. 6:25)

So here I am. Searching my heart to see why my husband’s words had such an impact on me. Seeking to find final freedom and deliverance in this area — but also wanting to see myself as others see me (especially as God sees me).

Blech. Just working through my thoughts with you …

I’ll keep you posted as my heart is enlightened in this area.