Yesterday was my beautiful daddy’s 90th birthday!  He was born May 8, 1922 and went home to be with the Lord on May 8th, 2012.

1 Corinthians 5:8
We are confident and prefer to live away from this body and to live with the Lord.

I am driven to record life and now I see that I am also driven to record death.  The details remain vivid in my mind.  The last weekend … the struggles … the sorrow for my precious daddy … then the VICTORY!

We noticed a sudden decline in our father’s health the past couple of weeks.  This man who has done everything for himself up until this past year was suddenly needing to become more dependent on others.  I know that was incredibly difficult for him.

I want to share what a gift God gave me yesterday and where I failed.

Monday I received an email from a friend asking if my daughter could go home with hers on Tuesday.   I responded yes as our Princess jumped up and down with glee!

Lately I have started visiting my parents in the morning so that my little one wouldn’t be exposed to some things that were starting to happen and increase with my daddy.  He was her buddy and I wanted her to remember him that way.    Though mornings at their home were part of my routine, I had more time yesterday thanks to my friend Jessica.  (THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING GOD TO USE YOU JESSICA.)

Once I arrived, I kissed my beautiful daddy on the forehead and walked outside to cut a fresh arrangement of flowers for my parent’s home.    When I entered, my mom had gotten up to start her day.   We had some time together before my sister arrived — then my sister and I loved on daddy and told him we would be back soon after running errands.    After a couple of hours we returned to find our cousin Sarah and her husband Ken visiting with mama and daddy.  Sarah was once a Chaplin with Hospice, so she was the perfect guest!  She held daddy’s hand and loved on him while we all talked, laughed, and shared.  Daddy would try to communicate with us.  He couldn’t open his eyes, but he would respond to us in ways that we knew he was hearing.

At one point I was telling them how disappointed I was that I missed a window of time from the day before where daddy actually opened his eyes and talked!  Doesn’t that figure?  I was always there and then I missed it!  During that time he was able to tell mama twice that he loved her.  What a gift!   But after I said how disappointed I was — I said, “But Daddy, I’m sure you see enough of me anyway” and he mumbled, “Never enough.”  What a gift from God to know that he never had enough of me.  He was always happy to see me and in this last year I was like a parent who made him feel safe.  I can remember many times where he would say, “I’m so thankful you are here” as if I was going to take names and stop all foolishness around him.

Daddy’s body worked hard to leave this earth.  I have heard people describe their loved-one dying as “they took their final breath” …  It may happen that way with some, but daddy had a lot of drugs in his system to block his pain.   He didn’t want to leave us.  He fought a good fight, but his sweet body was tired.  The doctors said he would only have 3 years to live (and that was 14 years ago).  My daddy was TOUGH.  He was a strong man who wanted to protect his wife.  Even in his last days he felt he was doing his duty by being near my mom.

So, back to the visit with Sarah and Ken.  The room was filled with laughter as we teased daddy about a wig we had just purchased for mama.  It felt like family — warmth, laughter, and love.   I know that God used visits from daddy’s baby sister and visits from two of his nieces to bring some much needed healing in his heart.  He finally knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his family loved him!   Before Sarah and Ken left, they asked if we could pray.  Sarah had one of daddy’s hands and Ken (both of them ministers) held the other.  We stood in a circle as Sarah prayed the sweetest prayer.

I had many opportunities to squeeze daddy and kiss him.  I told him several times how much I adored him and what a great daddy (at the time I said “you are”) he was.  He was bathed in LOVE.

Ok, here is where I failed just a bit.  When Sarah and Ken left, I thought I would go home and have an hour to myself before I needed to pick up my Princess … I held daddy’s hand, kissed him and said, “I’ll be back soon Daddy.  I’ll see you soon.”  Oh, but the Holy Spirit was telling me to stay!  I knew I wasn’t supposed to leave, but at the same time guilt has played that game with me for over a year now.  Oh how I wish I had obeyed.

By the time I got home (15 minutes) I received a call from the health care worker helping my parents, “Beth, I think your dad just died.  He just got really still and I can’t find a pulse.”  BEFORE SHE CALLED I HAD JUST SAID OUT LOUD, “Lord, should I go back?  I can’t get past this feeling that I should be there!”  Then suddenly the phone rang …

I felt such peace.  I didn’t cry but headed out of my house to return.   I was praising God that daddy didn’t gasp for air.  The Hospice book warned that there could be a fish out of water type of gasping for air near the end, but PRAISE GOD — daddy just absolutely stopped breathing and stepped out of his tent.  Oh, if I had stayed what would I have seen?  It was so peaceful and quiet that the care-giver didn’t even realized he had stepped out.

It was beautiful.  God allowed daddy to be bathed in love right before he walked over into eternity!  My sister and I gave daddy lots of kisses and hugs.  What a gift!

I walked into the living room and there was my beautiful daddy.  He just looked like he was asleep.  He was still warm and I loved on him some more — knowing it was just his shell, his tent … now empty.   Daddy was with Jesus.

Yesterday morning as I was leaving for my parent’s home I sent my friend Katherine a text.   She responded that she had to share something with me when I had time.   That afternoon, I sent her a text that daddy had gone to heaven.   Late yesterday she showed up at my door with a 3 paged letter.  She recorded how God had told her at 6am that daddy was going home that day.  She covered him in prayer and interceded for him to be able to lay this life down and any disappointments he had experienced here on earth.  Then she had a vision that I want to document here.   She saw Jesus carrying daddy like a child.  He was dropped over on either side of the Lord’s arms.  Jesus then placed daddy between two bright angels.  They held daddy up by his arm pits as he stood on his own two feet.  As he stood between the angels, daddy began to straighten up again.  (His back had become crooked over the past few years.)  She watched him get stronger and stronger.  She saw daddy in a seamless robe that fit him perfectly.  It came just above his feet.   As daddy strengthened, my friend looked off to the right and saw where daddy and the angels were headed — to the entrance of heaven.   She knew she had to share this with me last night to give me comfort.

God is so good!  I do NOT know how people face death without Jesus.  I am so grateful to know beyond any doubt that my daddy walked out of his earthly tent and walked right into the arms of the Lord.  Oh how I miss him already!  I can hardly wait to see him again!  Thankfully this life is NOTHING compared to our heavenly home.  As believers, we will have all of eternity together.

1 Corinthians 15:55
O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?

I will share the obituary I wrote for my daddy later …  THANK YOU for your prayers, sweet emails, and comments.  I am so blessed!

(photos:  Daddy on his 89th bday;  Daddy yesterday with Mama, Sarah, and Ken — about an hour before he left this world.)