I am in the wilderness again!

This has been going on for awhile now.

Do you remember when I shared about a prophetic word one of our pastors had given me about some deep healing in my heart?   God was digging deep to bring up things that I THOUGHT had been healed …  Well, HELLO SUNSHINE — I’m back in the healing field again I suppose.

Don’t get me wrong.   I am so grateful that God loves me so much that He wants to see all of my wounds healed.


Two nights ago, I had this song (thanks to this commercial) stuck in my head!  I heard it over and over and over again.  I was awake from 1:30am to 4:00am and these few lyrics rang through my heart.   I switched the lyrics to be about God.   He said, “TAKE ME INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR!” He will never leave me and will stand by me!   He was trying to comfort me  through this silly commercial.   It is amazing how God will use anything He wants.

While I was in the shower this morning I finally had a good cry.   I asked the Lord,“What is going on?  I feel like I have been derailed — totally off track !”

I made myself go through the routine of attending church, though I felt so blaaaaa that I didn’t even want to go.   I have felt stuck in such a place of complacency!  Through tears I have cried out, “Lord, please don’t let me be luke warm!  I want to be fiery hot for You!”

As worship began, I sang the lyrics of the songs, but also added my own verbal pleas to God.   I needed to hear from the Lord today.   I needed to know what was going on with me.   All I knew was stuff seemed stirred up in an area and I didn’t like the way I felt about it all.   I didn’t like the “feelings” I had and I didn’t like the bitterness I tasted.

Must I go around this mountain again Lord?

Pastor Jim began apologizing to a few of his family members who have heard part of this message lately (he travels and speaks all over the world), but he wanted to share what God had placed on his heart.   (I’m grateful he did!)

Oh how I wish I had taken a note book because there were so many notes to take, but what I heard clearly from his message was this:


Duh, light bulb moment for sure!   Why didn’t I see it?

Facing all of the junk coming up in my heart has left me almost numb and complacent.   I HATE feeling this way (though I am well aware that feelings are deceptive).

Jesus was LED by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tested by the devil — to be approved.

Does Father God see what is within us when we are in the wilderness too?   I know one thing, I DEFINITELY see what is in my heart and I don’t like it.


When I think about a physical wilderness I imagine something like this photo.   I can only assume there are huge trees blocking my view.   The only clarity is looking UP!   Or even better, how about looking with a heavenly perspective since we are seated with Christ.

Ephesians 2:6
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in
Christ Jesus.

Pastor Jim said that sometimes others can drag us into a wilderness — maybe our spouse, our child, or friend.    He said we often cry out, “WHY SO LONG GOD?!?!?”

Because you aren’t ready My child …

My pastor pointed out that it took 40 years to prepare Moses.

God loves us so much and wants us to be prepared.  Whatever God has planned for my life — He desires that my heart be ready.   Pastor Jim wisely shared that God wants me to be the woman I need to be so that I won’t be destroyed or broken under the pressure.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR GOD?”  we might ask …

YOU My child …

Pastor Jim shared that we may want to blame a spouse that refuses to surrender to God;  Maybe we want to blame a spouse who doesn’t make us feel secure financially;  Perhaps we blame our child for our wilderness experience because of the difficulty he/she has put us through.   It is easy to resent others because it doesn’t seem like IT IS OUR FAULT!  It makes it difficult to find the grace needed in these types of situations.


Ouch — I know!

We need our Father.   He alone can get us through these seasons and He wants us to know that IT IS HIM THAT WE NEED.

The wilderness is a place of preparation …

My pastor said we need to:

FACE it!  Jesus was led into the wilderness to face the devil.  Just face the fact when we are there and know that God loves us so much that He wants to prepare us.

FEAST!  A Bible study won’t help you make it through.  You must FEAST on God’s Word and spend time in His presence.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

FIGHT!  We just have to fight sometimes!   Jesus used the Word of God against satan.  Why would we have to do anything less?


Are you in the wilderness too?  Be encouraged!  You are being prepared for the next assignment!   God is preparing, healing, and stretching you.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

THANK YOU PASTOR JIM FOR BEING OBEDIENT.   I saw many stand at the end of the service today.  WE NEEDED THIS.   God bless you!

Image of Jesus in wilderness.