Recently I posted about a spiritual attack I had been under. My thoughts were being bombarded and the attack was even manifesting in the physical realm. I recognized FEAR and a sense of FOREBODING coming against me. (I can’t believe I lived like that 24 hours a day for YEARS. See my testimony in the navigation bar at the top.) I was awakened around 3am several days in a row. During that time I felt fear coming against my thoughts and though I tried to capture them and focus on the Lord, it was like it was a full assault on my mind.

Thankfully, God revealed an open door that allowed all of this foolishness, but through this process I have had an “a ha” moment.

I was always fearful growing up and it carried into my adulthood. Through Christ, I have overcome so much of that fear, but now I must deal with the companion of fear. Do you know his name? I believe it is DREAD.

Dread:

Verb
To fear greatly.
To feel extreme reluctance.

Noun
Great fear especially in the face of impending evil.

Deuteronomy 28:65-67 Among those nations you will find no repose, no resting place for the sole of your foot. There the LORD will give you an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart. You will live in constant suspense, filled with dread both night and day, never sure of your life. In the morning you will say, “If only it were evening!” and in the evening, “If only it were morning!”-because of the terror that will fill your hearts and the sights that your eyes will see.

It is not meant for God’s children to DREAD anyone but Him (a holy fear of His Majesty). From the scripture above, dread is almost like a curse and it is true that it makes you feel uncertain — never settled, never at peace.

Isaiah 8:13
The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, He is the one you are to fear, He is the one you are to
dread

I am ashamed to say it, but God really placed His light in my life to show me the DREAD that had stained my garments. Seriously, if I’m completely honest with you, the phrase, “I dread …” began 90% of my sentences — even if I didn’t vocalize it. No matter the event, “Ugh! I dread getting ready. I dread finding something to wear. Sigh … why can’t I just stay home?” It was such a part of my life that I didn’t REALIZE what I was doing.

This morning we were scheduled to go to the mountains. I have a nasty head cold and it was snowing. Was I excited to go? Well, my dear husband got my attention when he said, “I know you don’t want to go. I heard you telling someone that you dreaded going.” Ouch! Did I actually say it out loud!?!?!? CONVICTION! I said, “No Honey, I want to go! I’m sorry!”

With that said, I suddenly realized how much DREAD was a part of my life — even my thought-life. I immediately changed my words and said, “I am excited to go! Father, thank You for the opportunity to go somewhere with my family!” It changed my outlook and my attitude.

Even though our trip was canceled by my husband due to the weather in the mountains (and my cold), my heart was happy to go and I was ready.

For those of you who have struggled with fear, check your hearts and see if traces of dread are lingering too. I do believe they travel hand in hand.

Forgive me Father for dreading any part of this beautiful gift of LIFE that You have given me. I pray I see each day as a new adventure. In Jesus’ Name.