Yesterday I had a moment to watch a show that I had saved on our DVR. It was a Lisa Ling documentary on the elderly. She showed her own Dad who was starting to walk in confusion. Oh my — just hearing about her fears of calling him — just to discover that he wouldn’t answer the phone someday brought back a lot of painful memories.
She also interviewed another lady who was in her 90s and running races! Yes, you read that correctly! She looks like she is in her late 60s or 70s. Seriously. That little lady truly amazed me.
But the last woman she showed had suffered from a stroke and was living with her daughter. I SOBBED! She had the same look on her face as my mother. It was haunting to say the least. I have tried to forget that look: gaunt, resigned, hopeless. This woman shared with Lisa that her daughter has now taken over the role as Mom and due to her dependency she has become the child.
I have said it before, but there is no way to prepare yourself to become the parent of your parents. It is a horrible, painful transition. I remember when my Mom first had a stroke, she didn’t want her children to see her in that condition. Unfortunately, the last year of her life, she was bedridden which meant continuous care. It was very difficult for her I’m sure. All pride and modesty had to leave. I remember her crying not too long before she died because so many strangers were seeing her nakedness and caring for her. She had no privacy — no control really. She was laid bare.
It hurt me to watch my parents suffer.
It is hard to believe that it was 9 months ago today that my sweet Daddy died. Mama followed 5 weeks later. How can we possibly be approaching a year?!?!? It seems like it just happened a month or two ago.
Though I am glad that season is behind me, I miss them.
I am linking with Lisa-Jo today for 5-Minute Friday. She provides the prompt and we write for 5 minutes to see what flows out. Today’s prompt: BARE
Please click on her button below to join: