Bare

Yesterday I had a moment to watch a show that I had saved on our DVR.  It was a Lisa Ling documentary on the elderly.  She showed her own Dad who was starting to walk in confusion.  Oh my — just hearing about her fears of calling him — just to discover that he wouldn’t answer the phone someday brought back a lot of painful memories.

She also interviewed another lady who was in her 90s and running races!  Yes, you read that correctly!  She looks like she is in her late 60s or 70s.  Seriously.    That little lady truly amazed me.

But the last woman she showed had suffered from a stroke and was living with her daughter.  I SOBBED!  She had the same look on her face as my mother.  It was haunting to say the least.  I have tried to forget that look:  gaunt, resigned, hopeless.   This woman shared with Lisa that her daughter has now taken over the role as Mom and due to her dependency she has become the child.

I have said it before, but there is no way to prepare yourself to become the parent of your parents.  It is a horrible, painful transition.  I remember when my Mom first had a stroke, she didn’t want her children to see her in that condition.   Unfortunately, the last year of her life, she was bedridden which meant continuous care.  It was very difficult for her I’m sure.   All pride and modesty had to leave.    I remember her crying not too long before she died because so many strangers were seeing her nakedness and caring for her.  She had no privacy — no control really.  She was laid bare.

It hurt me to watch my parents suffer.

It is hard to believe that it was 9 months ago today that my sweet Daddy died.  Mama followed 5 weeks later.    How can we possibly be approaching a year?!?!?  It seems like it just happened a month or two ago.

Though I am glad that season is behind me, I miss them.

I am linking with Lisa-Jo today for 5-Minute Friday.    She provides the prompt and we write for 5 minutes to see what flows out.  Today’s prompt:  BARE

Please click on her button below to join:

Five Minute Friday

 

6 Responses to Bare
  1. Linda
    February 8, 2013 | 11:08 am

    Thank you for sharing your heart. My parents too have passed away. I don’t understand your circumstances exactly, but I understand missing them.

  2. Kimberly Amici
    February 8, 2013 | 11:53 am

    thanks for sharing your heart. May God continue to comfort you.

    I think I have mentioned before about my husbands grandmother that was getting ready to pass just a few months ago and we were able to see and spend time with…Now we are getting ready to go see my grandmother. She still has some time a head of her but she went into assisted living about 2 week ago. We got the call to come down and gather the things that are in her house that she would like each of us to have. We are stripping her house bare to be sold… It’s tough to see her aged. I always remember her young and believe it or not have to remind myself she isn’t anymore.

  3. The Epistolarian
    February 8, 2013 | 1:13 pm

    Wow, you had a lot to get out in your 5 minutes! Thank you for sharing. I have been meditating on my parents deaths a bit lately and how not ready I am for that (though they are still fairly young, they are both in so-so health).

  4. Mia
    February 8, 2013 | 2:08 pm

    Hi Beth
    I feel such empathy towards the elderly who suffer so! They always say growing old is not child’s play and that is true words.
    Much love
    Ma

  5. Amy
    February 8, 2013 | 8:32 pm

    My parents are very young and it’s hard to imagine having to take care of them. I’m not looking forward to it, to be honest.

  6. Barbie
    February 9, 2013 | 9:12 am

    Oh friend, my parents are both still here, but who knows for how long. I know there will come a day when I will, with the help of siblings, take care of them. It does seem strange, children caring for their parents. But some day I will be that parent. Love you!

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